Ode to Christmas Insanity

Shopping is done,
And presents are wrapped.
Wasn’t that fun?
More like whacked?!
Staying up late
Addressing the cards;
Now, wait,
What’s in my front yard?!
The mail truck is here;
Let’s run like a fool!
Oh, dear, oh, dear!
All this for Yule?!
Covered in flour up to each elbow,
More cookies to bake,
Stack and frost in a row.
Oh, for Pete’s sake,
What is that smell?
I forget one batch.
Oh, well, oh, well.
Start again from scratch!
I swear, if I get one more email
Begging for my business –
This is why I hate retail!
Nothing but a mess!
Pull out the tree
And untangle the lights,
Oh, whee, oh, whee!
This gives me the frights!
Here comes the cat
To knock it all down.
Now what do you think of that?
Maybe next year I’ll just go out of town.
Now, I think myself generous,
But how many a charity
Must ask for my Ebay bonus?
Do you want me to live in poverty?
Elf on a shelf
Can take the plunge in the lake;
I’m beside myself
With dancing in the snowflakes!